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Above: Anna and Amber at Anna's graduation party ten days before Anna was married.
Dear Mama-friends,
I was truly touched by the reactions to my account of my wayward daughter Anna and how she ended up married at 18 to a man she had only known a few months, and was 9 years older than her. This past year has been very hard, not only because of the ensuing estrangement we have had to endure, but also that life has gone on, and Anna is not a part of it, nor are we a part of her life.
I will be bringing you all up to date on this saga, but first I want to give you a little background. Anna is a middle child, with an older and a younger brother. She was always an active little girl, and love to catch little things outside -- snakes, spiders, beetles. She was very smart, and also very stubborn. She loved to torment her brothers. She loved to draw, and had a beautiful voice, too. She loved her cat, Snickers. And she had one best friend since kindergarten -- Patience.
Anna and Patience, and also the third friend in their circle, Vici, all worked at a local Taco Johns. That is where they met David. There were also other people who knew David from work, and so there were a lot of mutual friends.
After Anna and David got married, they socialized less and less with Anna's old friends, and they actually lived for a few months with a friend of David's ( in the friend's parents' basement). All this time Anna was withdrawing more and more from her family and friends. This all came to a head because of a very tragic accident.
On July 5th, 2006, a group of girls had been at Patientce's house, and decided to drive to Norfolk to visit one girl's mother. Gina , Chris and Amber went, but Patience stayed home. Amber and Patience were very close, and Amber had been living with Patience, at Patience's parents' house.
You might remember the news accounts of the accident. Chris's truck rolled on the highway. Chris was seriously injured, and Amber was killed. It still seems impossible that this very bright, beautiful woman is gone. I was in Colorado at this time, and getting that phone call from Patience's mother while standing on a street corner in Estes Park was surreal. I was helpless to do anything.
Patience was distraught and nearly inconsolable. She needed all the support available, and Anna was the main pillar of that support. But David was not as compassionate or understanding as he could have been, and was very unhappy with the amount of time Anna was spending with Patience. Two days after Amber's death, there was an incident at Patience's house. I can not give a complete account of what happened because the stories all conflict, so I'll stick to what I know for sure.
Anna was at the house, and left to pick David up from work. She had forgotten her purse, so went back with David to get it. The girls at the house, and especially Patience, didn't want Anna to leave again right away, but David insisted. They tried to prevent Anna and David from leaving, and things got ugly, including one person actually jumping on the hood of the car to stop them.
After that, Anna would have nothing to do with her friends. I tried to explain to her that people who are grieving cannot be held to normal standards of behavior, but she wouldn't forgive them. As far as I know, she has not talked to any of them since. (Anna did ask her brother Alex to tell her about the memorial service that was held for Amber.)
OK -- that's all for this chapter, but here's a weird fact for you. David and Amber have the same birthday -- January 25th.
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