Story Time

Here are two stories The Fiver wrote this morning:

Uni
Once there was a unicorn named Uni. Uni was a very nice unicorn. She was very very nice to people too. She is nice to anybody. She's nice to other unicorns too.

THE END

Pola
Once there was bear named Pola who was very nice. She lived in cave and she played with her friends every day. She had a wonderful mom.

THE END

Five-O-Matic

Last night, The Fiver told me that when she grows up, she is going to name her baby Fart. She went on to say that she would name her next baby Poop, and her third baby Nooney.

Has Your Heart Every Been Broken?

A broken heart is when the little boy you raised the best you could, grows into a teenager; and one day when you’re tidying his closet, you reach into the pocket of his jean jacket only to pull out two large plastic bags filled with a hundred empty, smaller marijuana baggies. A broken heart is the beginning of a long tiring journey with no means to an end. This little boy, who once made the honor roll, now sold drugs to earn a bank roll.

A broken heart is when you call the police to your home, because you’ve found eleven baggies filled with marijuana in your son’s car, and you wanted to do the right thing, to keep addiction from spreading to the unwary. Only to have the police tell you to flush it down your own toilet, as it was not enough to hold him. As I watched the officers exit my front door, leaving the drugs behind, my heart slowly sunk, and has never risen again. For all they knew, I could have been the drug dealer.

A broken heart is when you receive a phone call a week after the fact, informing you that your son was arrested for having ecstasy in his trunk. Again, he was told that had it been twenty two pills, he’d be serving an automatic two years. His uncle paid $5,000.00 bail, when I would have allowed him to sit there with nothing but time to think long and hard about his actions. To look at him, you’d never know it. He’s handsome, with beautiful blue eyes. But mom can look through those eyes and into his soul. The little boy is crying, “I don’t know why I do this, I’m out of control.” He is now awaiting a second court appearance as the first was postponed. Though my heart is yet broken I see glimmers of hope, and perhaps a happy ending to a long journey that has taken its toll. He’s coming around, and changing his ways. I’ll love him unconditionally, but I won’t concede to his reckless and dangerous ways.

A broken heart smothers your very existence. The mending of a broken heart will come alas, when the promise I received in pray, finally comes to pass. Broken hearts aren’t forever.

Main Goal: Embarrass Twelve-O-Matic

I kept trying to get her to call me, "Dad."

She out and out refused!

In O-Matic News ...

In Twelve-O-Matic News: We are conducting an experiment on Twelve-O-Matic. We are not going to give her any instructions regarding her room, for an undetermined period of time. We are going to see where it goes. Right now we can only see about 30% of the carpet. Despite the laundry room being less than 10 feet away from her room, the laundry is amassing. This is DAY ONE of the experiment.

In Five-O-Matic News: A tooth has been loosened. We are awaiting spontaneous dental ejection. Every single person (no exaggeration) who has encountered her since the tooth became loose has asked if he/she can yank it out for her. The answer has been an unequivocal, NO.

Unfortunately ...

... I just had to revoke one of our contributor's publishing rights on this site. She was plagiarizing at least once that I know of, but at this point, I do not trust that anything posted was original.

I'm very disappointed and it makes me feel like not trusting anyone.

I'll get over it, but right now I'm really grumpy about it.

Not COOL! Not cool at all!

-Jodie

Five-O-Matic's Song

An original song, as transcribed by Twelve-O-Matic via Five-O-Matic's dictation:

The Night Up Above by Five-O-Matic

To the prairies
when the ocean waves
to the sky
with the jokings of my ears
when the sun sets inside her
and then the moon comes up
with the shine in it
the owl comes out
with the moon

then the prairies come to life
with the princesses in their castles.
Then the prince dances with the princess.

THEEEEE ENNNNND.